women. raw. honest. loved. (part 2)
Yes. That last photo is of me. I couldn’t ask these ladies to bare their souls without diving in with them. So, yeah, beside the fact that I’ve known quite a few of these ladies for quite some time now and they are some of the most special people in my life, period – this night was super emotional for me, in addition, because I was feeling it all along with them. So many times, I forgot that I put this together as a photo project. It became so very much more. But, I suppose I’ve already said all of that in Part 1 of this blog – https://alanatphotography.wordpress.com/2013/02/11/women-raw-honest-loved-part-1-2/ .
I am going to just copy the introduction from that here, however, just in case you’re reading it for the first time – the inspiration behind the project, how it came about, etcetera…just understand that it is also in part 1, so, you don’t need to read it twice. 🙂
I also want to make you aware that there were two other beautiful ladies involved with this project that ended up not being able to participate that actual evening, so, I don’t have the same photos for their parts, but I have all of the raw material that goes along with it. Please don’t miss theirs.
This was the most rewarding project I’ve ever even thought to undertake. I have another of these in the works that I will be doing with some preteen and teenage girls…maybe nip this behavior in the bud, ya know??? We can hope.
That said, I would love to do this again with more women. I will have to charge something monetary, as it has taken a lot of time, energy, and money to do…which feels not right somehow, but, is necessary if I don’t want to be living on the street at the end of the year. 🙂 If you are interested, or want to get a group of about ten women or so together to do this, please be in touch. You can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or find me on facebook – alana t photography, and send me a message.
**Video will also be coming at some point**
Thank you all for taking an interest in this. Please share if you are so inclined. It’s time for a change.
Now, as I’ve said, the introduction from Part 1:
Have you ever spent an evening with fifteen other women that was filled with only positive energy? Where there was no gossip, no cattiness, no bullshit, no sneers from across the room, no whispering behind someone else’s back, etc?
Yeah, me neither.
Until Friday, February 8th.
The evening started with the majority of these women never having met. There were shy introductions, nervous small talk while everyone got comfortable and cozy. Drinks of choice helped to calm some initial nerves. And then it began – the discussing, revealing, crying, sharing, hugging, affirming, LOVING. And, of course, the photographing, as you can see…but that felt like a side note in the whole scheme of things.
Why were we doing this? Let me give you a brief description of why.
You’ve probably seen the movie “Mean Girls”, and I’m sure you related to at least SOMEthing in it, whether you were the one bullied, the co-conspirator of the bully, or the bully yourself. We’ve all experienced at least some aspect. And we realize that it is usually destructive behavior over what is generally incredibly silly things…jealousy that someone is prettier than us, weighs less than us, has a better job than us, has a better boyfriend than us; we weren’t invited to such and such party…the list goes on. And, yes, all of those things sound like a list made by a girl in junior high or high school, but, lemme just say – I’m 35, and I hear conversations (and see…thank you, social networking) about these very silly things ALLLLLLLLL THE TIME. I also have recently felt the effects of peer “bullying”, by women who don’t even know me very well at all. I just said I’m 35, right?!?! Yeah. So, I found all of that ridiculous and it spearheaded me writing this blog here: https://alanatphotography.wordpress.com/2012/12/06/if-you-dont-have-anything-nice-to-say/ which led to this project.
One of the problems is that women tend to bond over negativity. How sad is that, ladies? We trash-talk another woman with our friend, and so our bond with our friend becomes stronger. Gross, right? I’ve been guilty of it, for sure. My stomach actually hurts to think about that now. And I wish I could apologize to anyone I’ve done this to, and actually anyone that I’ve done this WITH, as I wasn’t helping to build up that person, either. Consider this my apology, please. Pretty, pretty please.
Bottom line: talking trash generally happens because of our own insecurities. We struggle with things deep inside of us, and we inadvertently take them out on others.
So, that’s what got me thinking…
Maybe there needed to be a bigger conversation.
Maybe we needed to face those insecurities.
Maybe we needed to face them together.
Maybe we could relate to each other and get a whole new perspective on women in general.
And guess what? That’s what happened. That and so much more. I’m so grateful to these women for being so raw and honest, and so willing to bare this to not only their friends and family, but strangers alike. The ladies have used such words to describe it as: Scary. Intimidating. Exposing. Liberating. Empowering. Bonding.
As you’ll see, all of these insecurities these eighteen women face stem deep, to the core. Even those that are insecurities about physical attributes, they stem emotionally. Not just physically. So many of them (maybe all of them), go back to our respective childhoods. The ladies have mentioned that doing this has made them appreciate how much they need to pay attention to the messages that they are sending as parents, (myself included, wholeheartedly.) Hopefully, you will read and appreciate all of this as well and be able to relate in some respect, however small it may be.
We had this opportunity to recognize that all of us deal with these nagging insecurities, but that all of us are equally loved and appreciated by those close to us. Our loved ones don’t even see these insecurities, most of the time. They only see their beautiful friend/sister/mother/daughter/girlfriend/wife/etc.
That said, my goal for this project: to think about this night, and these women, when a negative thought about another woman crosses our mind. It’s natural that it happens, but, hopefully this is a reminder to check ourselves before we vocalize anything of the sort. Remember that we don’t know the struggles that that particular woman may be dealing with…that she has friends and family who love her, and that there are probably numerous reasons why they love her unconditionally.
Before you delve into reading these women’s revealing, honest, raw emotions, let me set the scene for how this project flowed.
Basically, after the responses to my previous blog about this subject, I had the women involved send me the biggest insecurity that they obsess over, that they were also willing to share with the world. This took a lot of thought on their part – most of them gave it a good month or so before really writing something up for me, because, as I’ve mentioned, it was scary.
In addition, they each selected five-to-ten family members and/or friends that they feel especially close to and sent me their names and contact info. I then proceeded to contact these individuals personally, requesting some information on what they personally love and appreciate about that particular woman. Some chose to list traits, some chose to write very emotional testimonials – all of them are so beautiful, and so appreciated, as you shall see.
As far as the night itself, I had each woman read her own write-up about her insecurity aloud. This was rarely done without resulting in tears, not just their own tears, but also the tears of fifteen other women who felt their pain. We would do this one at a time – one woman would read hers, and I would immediately take her over afterward to take her photo, holding her insecurity summed up in her own choice of words. They all got a little bit mad at me for this 🙂 because they were still crying, for the most part – but that is why I wanted the photo right then – to capture the raw emotion that they were feeling from just sharing that with this group.
Immediately following that, we would sit back down with the group and I got to read to them the kind, loving, reassuring words of their friends…which led to more tears. But, happy ones this time. (I should also mention that I didn’t share these women’s insecurities with anyone else beforehand, not even the friends and family of whom I was requesting information.)
It ended up feeling like we were hearing what would be our eulogies, since that seems to be the only time people feel free to share all of the things they love about a person. Very surreal…and very powerful.
That said, meet the ladies. (The previous eight women can be found in part 1 – https://alanatphotography.wordpress.com/2013/02/11/women-raw-honest-loved-part-1-2/ )
“Ok so my insecurity is my stomach/midriff/muffin top. I just wish it was flatter and didn’t hang over my jeans. And less stretchmarks would be nice. I don’t regret how I got them though.”
katie’s friends and family:
“She is wonderful with kids. All kids like Katie…she has a kind heart, smart, hard worker, always shows compassion. I think something that I admire the most about Katie is her calmness – I never see her lose her temper or show stress, unlike a lot of people. She handles situations and people really well. Awesome Mom, and my best friend.” – carolyn
“Here are just a few things about Katie that I love: She is loving. She is accepting. She is open. She is self-sufficient. She is very creatively-minded. She doesn’t pretend . . . you know when she’s happy, sad, or mad, or if she thinks your BF is a DB and you can do better (btw- we broke up, and I did do better). Her skin glows like no other and her eyes sparkle, (and I think the shine for both comes from her heart.) She has a great set of ta-ta’s. She makes the best salt scrub ever.” – tammy
“She is really fun and adventurous. Very youthful looking and beautiful. Extremely hardworking and motivated. She’s a good listener. Always making friends. Takes amazing photos. Family is important to her. She is loved by many!!!” – jessica
“Katherine is a loving, loyal person. She will do anything she can for a friend. She is a wonderful, kind mother, and I couldn’t ask for a sweeter or kinder, loyal daughter.” – lora
“Katie is one of the most kind and genuine people I have ever met. She is thoughtful and considerate. She’s always offering to help me out, whenever or wherever she can. She is a sweet person and amicable. She is easy to carry a conversation with, and seems to get along with everyone she encounters. She is also a nurturing mother and friend, and has compassion for children of all ages.
Katie is talented with photography. She is also a hard worker. She is someone that I think of fondly, and I consider her a true friend.” – carrie
“Nice, smart, funny, brave, outgoing, friendly, pleasant, beautiful, intelligent, gracious, kind, honest, trustworthy, helpful, creative, generous, grateful, entertaining.” – owen
“Coming to the end-the end of life, a job, a relationship, be it friendly or romantic-and leaving no impact. The world was not different, not better for me being in it. My friends and
Family wasn’t uplifted and made stronger, didn’t feel both affirmed and challenged, loved and safe by knowing me. I get scared that nothing is different in the world, my city, my community, my family’s and friends’ lives for knowing me. I fear being inconsequential.”
kerri’s friends and family:
“KERRI… is strong; is charismatic; inspires joy in everyone she meets; is intelligent; is beautiful; has infectious enthusiasm; is independent; is family to her friends; is sharply witty, and silly as all get out; is a true confidant.” – alayna
“I could go on for DAYS about ALL the wonderful things about Kerri. She is one of my closest friends at this point and time, and I can’t currently imagine life without her. She is: Dedicated. Passionate. She can WOW a crowd and Captivate an audience like no one I have ever met. Natural Leader. Smart as all get out. A Great Listener. She relates well. Dependable. A phenomenal dancer – she can work those hips. She tells it like it is.” – heidi
“Ker Fer is….Thoughtful, creative and tenacious. She is selfless at her job, and often sacrifices her health and sanity for the non-profit she works for. She is charismatic, clever and charming.” – eden
“Kerri is a wizard.
Kerri is a straight shooter who really sticks to her guns.
Seriously though, I don’t even know where to begin. There are so many things I love and admire about this stunning woman. She is incredibly perceptive and possesses striking intelligence. She can make me laugh like no one else on earth. She is effortlessly gorgeous. She is passionate about social justice and has a uniquely strong ability to empathize with people from very different walks of life. She is curious about the world and wants to keep learning and growing. She is a powerful force for good in this world.
Kerri is unapologetically herself. What could possibly be more beautiful than that?
Hope this is what you were looking for! ~Molly PS – Although ridiculous, I do believe the first two are true, and they might make her laugh.” – molly
“Cherished; integrious; honest; beautiful; genuine; tender; conscientious; life-giving; compassionate; honoring; driven.” – skylar
“Kerri is truly one of the best friends I will ever have. She inspires me to be better. When I’m around her I push myself to become smarter, happier, healthier. Kerri is one of the greatest people I have ever met in my entire life. Not kidding!
Kerri is ridiculously smart – book and street. But moreso street…because she’s a gangster.
Kerri has her shit together. Bam!
Kerri is super down to earth. I don’t know many people more genuine. Bam!
Kerri has one of the most beautiful and contagious laughs of anyone I know. Boom!
Talking to Kerri is so EASY. She listens!
Listening to Kerri is so easy. She’s relevant! She doesn’t ramble on and on like me. 🙂
My relationship with Kerri is one I treasure like she is my own family. I would do anything for her. I love Kerri!” – myra
“You are an amazing woman. You are strong. You are FUNNY. You are sweet and dependable.
Your creativity and soul are outstanding. Your friendship is cherished and your personality fills a room with joy.
You make a party come to life and a song worth dancing to.
You support your friends and family to the fullest, and we hope to always do the same for you.
You are loved. You are beautiful. You are the KanJam Queen. You mean the world to me.
Thank you for being our incredible Kerri Fieder.
I love you! I miss you!” – carly
“I feel self conscious when I wear noticeable make up. I will totally blush if someone comments on the fact that I’m wearing make up. Then I’ll rush into the bathroom and wash it off my face…. I don’t know why but growing up, instead of asking my mom to buy me make up, I just observed my little sister while she experimented with make up and all that girly stuff. Now, I’m almost 29, and I finally have a make up bag along with make up. But I still have noooooooo idea how to properly apply it, I can’t pluck my eyebrows into a shape I feel is attractive, I just bought my first pair of high heels last year. I swear I’m a dude trapped in a woman’s body! A gay dude. hahaha. Only I bet a gay dude can put make up on better and feel more confident in heels!!! Haha”
mallery’s friends and family:
“Mal is beautiful. Duh! haha – MOST hilarious chick… EVER. She’s a huge flirt with the best laugh and voices. She’s very smart, strong, creative, happy, talented, sweet, caring, thoughtful, classy, practical, and easy to get along with. I have shared many memories with Mal with traveling and being best friends for so long. She is a great mom, great friend, and she is like a sister to me. She has a great family and we share many friends. She’s a great artist, has great taste, cute tattoos, she’s fun and adventurous. She had a beautiful wedding too. I love Mal.” – tara
“Mal is a really, really good mom. She’s super generous when she has something that someone else does not. She listens to you when you talk and does her best to empathize with you. She’s absolutely gorgeous. She’s hilarious.” – ashlee
“Mallery is a super talented artist—photography, editing, painting, etc. She is absolutely gorgeous and has a figure to die for. She is hilarious. She is kind to a fault. If I told her I needed pants, she’d give me the pair she was wearing—-literally!!! Oh jeez. I don’t know what I’d do without Mal. I swear she keeps me sane some times. I can tell her ANYTHING–and I mean ANN-KNEE-THING—and she doesn’t judge or think badly of me or anything or whatever. She just sympathizes or comforts or gives advice; whatever is needed. She makes the party, yo! She is completely honest with me. She makes me feel comfortable and I know I can be honest with her. She likes me despite the fact that I’m kind of a B and am crazy, so how can I not like her? LOL She is always there when I need her. As I said, I can be honest with her and tell her anything. I just love her to death. I’m not sure what else to say…I’m sure I’ll think of something. I really can’t say enough nice things about her. She is so great. She is one of my besties and I can’t imagine NOT having her in my life. Love love love that little lady.” – becca
“1) She has a kick ass sense of humor.
2) She is amazingly loyal. Not only to her family, but her friends also. There’ve been so many times since I’ve lived in WA that I just needed another human being, and she was always there for me. No matter how little gas she had, no questions asked, I needed her and she was there for me. She got me through my first 6-9 months of being in WA, for sure.
3) She doesn’t realize how beautiful she is. Inside AND out. She could be in a room full of people and light it up, with not only her personality, but also her naturally bright and beautiful complexion. I’ve seen it happen.
4) She is insanely patient. And I know she’ll laugh about this one, but this is true. With adults and kids alike. Especially my kids. That’s AWESOME.” – jen
“She’s hilarious, artistic, beautiful! She has so much passion in what she believes in and just in everything that she does! She’s a great mom and a strong woman! Oh and a very good friend, heheh.” – jennifer
“A Very Hairy Nightmare –
I never realized I was a chubby girl until a boy in second grade screamed, “Watch out for thunder thighs!” across the playground at me during a game of tag. I became even more aware of my size and stature when my mom called me a fat ass and put me on a serious diet at age eight. I was stuck with braces, and later neck gear, for the better part of my awkward tween years. Just my luck, I also had terrible vision and had to wear lenses as thick as bottle caps. As the years have passed, I learned to get contact lenses, use an invisible retainer, embrace my curves, and, when I can’t, just wear clothes that flatter my shape. Now, after recently having a baby, I am trying to learn to love my body all over again.
Then there is the hair. Ugh – the hair. Women were always commenting on my thick, dark, wavy hair when I was a kid. Unfortunately that hair stuck to my body in more places than the top of my head. I had the bushiest, thickest uni-brow as well as hair on my arms and legs that made me feel like Sasquatch. I remember begging my mom for a razor as a 13th birthday present. She finally acquiesced after catching me cut worse than an incident with Edward ScissorHands on the bathroom floor, her adult razor in my hot little hands. To this day, I still shave my forearms. Additionally, I have been plucking every stray hair from my face since fifth grade. Have you ever looked at your face under high magnification? It seriously changed all my grooming habits. I can’t leave the house without giving my entire face a once over with tweezers. The facial hair plucking is now an obsession. All I can see when I look in the mirror is a bearded lady. I can’t even go camping without a hand mirror and travel tweezers. I wish I could get over it and just get waxed or laser hair removal or something but, honestly, I have been too embarrassed to grow my hair long enough for an esthetician to see and remove it! I wish I had been born hairless.“
mara’s friends and family:
“It’s hard to put into words everything that Mara is. She is spicy, passionate, flirtatious, and a tease. She’s a blast to have fun with. She is very protective over the ones she cares for. Motherly and nurturing…sometimes even when you don’t want it. Stubborn as hell, and depends on if she will let up on her stubbornness in a situation. She gets matter-of-fact on ya when she wants you to do something. Great friend.” – jen
“Although I’ve only had the pleasure of Mara’s company a handful of times, I cannot help but feel impressed by her wonderful, positive personality and stunning face. In my experience with her, I’ve witnessed a gracious hostess, an engaging charmer of children, and a very talented artist. I was really amazed by her artwork and her ability to decorate. She is very talented and I hope she continues to develop these talents and share them with the world.” – andrea
“I knew Mara and I would be fast friends the moment I met her and heard that sarcastic tone in her voice. She is hilarious and has the best laugh – makes you want to laugh with her all night – so, we do. ☺
Mara is fearless. She is bold. She is dynamic. She walks into a room and demands attention just because she radiates fun.
She is BEAUTIFUL. Mara has the most beautiful smile and most captivating expressions. And THOSE EYES. She is my dream to photograph, as she is full of life and not afraid to show it. She is dramatic and captivating and lovable.
She is incredibly patient. I am blown away that she is not in pieces after the troubles she’s had with little Balen. ☹ I feel like I would be a constant sobbing mess, but that woman is an enduring powerhouse – a sacrificial, patient, and loving mama.
She is a STRONG woman – she stands up for what she believes in and is protective of those she loves.
Mara is one of those friends that I am always able to just pick up in our friendship from wherever we left off, (if we don’t see each other for a bit, as life has become busy for us both, now that we’re not just gallivanting single ladies) ☺ which is incredibly comforting. I appreciate this woman wholeheartedly. I only wish we lived closer to each other.” – alana
“Beside the obvious insecurities of being “big boned” and my personal fave of having no boobs is… I’m scared stemming from being very shy. Scared to talk to people, of not being good enough, afraid of hurting someone’s feelings, of not knowing what’s going to happen… the list goes on.
When I was young I was scared of everything. I was so shy; people would be so mean to me. I wouldn’t stand up for myself. I remember when I was about 12 that what I was doing wasn’t working and I didn’t like myself this way. So, I decided to change. Well the “being scared” thing didn’t change; I just had to push through that. I’ve learned to pretend. Pretend to be confident and convicted in my actions and words. Through this game I played with myself, I find myself being a better person.”
melissa’s friends and family:
“You know Melissa well. What doesn’t she do well?
M will make sure everyone she encounters smiles with her.
That girl can LISTEN. Quietly, em.” – bobbie
“She is a great friend. She is a great listener and has a wonderful heart. She is honest, loving, understanding, kind, and compassionate. She has a beautiful smile that can brighten an entire room full of people and she has a great sense of humor. She is so much fun and always knows what to say to cheer you up if you are feeling down. She is full of life and energy. She has become part of my family. I love her very much.” – valentina
“I have known Melissa for around 5 years now. She is an incredibly giving and special person. I have always known her as a fun, energetic person who is up for anything and has a huge heart. She pretty much organized my bachelorette party and it was amazing! She really went all out for me and it really made the whole time so special. She is an amazing mom and always has time to listen and talk about things that may be important. She is a wonderful, true friend.” – jessica
“I love Melissa and could go on and on…. Here are the first few traits that come to mind: Welcoming, inviting, warm, quick to offer help, funny, comfortable, hard working, beautiful, and talented. A true friend. She is also an amazing cook and gives great hugs!!” – stephanie
“What can I say about Melissa?? Sheesh. This woman is HILARIOUS, for one. She also has the most beautiful smile…the kind that still radiates in her eyes. I always know that when we have plans to hang out, it does not matter what the hell we do, we will have the BEST time doing it. I think we could sit at a funeral and have a great time…maybe that’s not a good thing…but, it’s probably true.
Melissa is dynamic. I first got to know her when she was a customer of mine in my skincare & makeup artistry days…I always, always looked forward to her visits. She would sit in my chair and we would have the greatest time. She listens oh-so-well…she would be my therapist at those times. And no matter what I may be saying or not saying, the girl is perceptive. She can read me like a book.
Melissa makes people feel at ease in her presence. She is immediately lovable and someone you want to call your friend.
She is bold and commanding, when she wants to be. ☺
She has a wonderful laugh and can light up a room with her smile and presence alone.
She is comforting and nurturing. She is no-bullshit. She is down-to-earth. She is unashamed and open. These are all reasons why I chose her to be in the room with us when I was in labor with my son. She is quite obviously an excellent and loving mama, which definitely shows – especially in situations like that – where someone is relying on her for her calm, comforting manner.
Melissa also gives some of the best hugs ever. EVER.” – alana
“So. The word “insecurity,” to me, is a complex thing. When I think of an insecurity–because I overthink EVERYTHING (which I suppose would be my number one insecurity)–it leads me to question what the underlying fear is. As in, “I’m insecure of my stomach because it always looks like I’m five months pregnant,” leads me to, “what is it about having a big belly that scares me?” Usually, the answer is, if I don’t fit into the “ideal” body size, then it will be difficult to “look” successful: ie. be able to purchase clothes that express how sassy I really feel without looking trashy, and generally not be able to feel comfortable in my own skin when surrounded by people that I feel are judging me. Also, there are other associations with “a big-bellied girl” that maybe I internalize a bit too much. Like, it means that I drink too much, or am lazy (which both happen to be true, but I know that’s not always the case with others that might look like me). On the flip side of this, my insecurity is one of the things that led me to leave the cosmetics industry. Frankly, I was fucking sick of feeling disected every goddamn day of my life.
My second insecurity (so, the first one is belly…I hope this is making sense…) and probably my biggest, is that I will inevitably offend someone that I admire or respect (friends, aquaintences, Joe, family, etc..). Like, if someone knows me long enough, then they’re going to eventually unveil the crazy town going on in my head and they will run screaming for the hills. Usually this surfaces in my writing or just plain ol’ conversations with people.
Seriously, typing it out even feels crazy.
I’m not sure if that even counts as an insecuity..sorry. See, I told you this felt complex.
Lastly, I’m insecure about my “accomplishments.” I always have a little voice in the back of my head that is telling me that I don’t deserve (insert accomplishment: like a good grade, a promotion, or a decent marriage) and it’s really because of strange coincidences that my life has turned out the way that it has, rather than any hard work or genuine talent on my part. Maybe it’s a mechanism that keeps me from getting too attached to the good stuff…I dunno.
And there you have it. You now know more about me than 95% of anyone I know. 🙂 “
rachel’s friends and family:
“Many things make up the Rachel I know. A few traits I deeply love are: 1. Her intelligence. 2. Her witty, yet sometimes snarky humor. 3. (This may sound weird)… but, her awareness of herself and the world. 4. She is steadfast. Resolute. I respect that quality immensely. 5. Not sure if this counts, but as analytical as she is (like me) she is also a bit of a dreamer, and that combo is rare and pretty damn radical!” – brooke
“I love Rachel! She is someone who thinks deeply about life and desires meaning and truth in this crazy rat race, not only for herself, but also for other people. She challenges me to think beyond my perceptions and into places I haven’t gone. She is loyal, creative, and an amazing writer! Her voice is unique and articulate. Rachel is so beautiful too. Her facial features are stunning…. and she has a nice ass!
Rachel has loved me and been such a faithful friend over the years. I hope she knows how much she has been a model of strength and honestly seeking something better in life. She is a loving and sacrificial mom, too. You are an inspiration, Rachel, and I love you!” – sayde
“Hey Alana, haha – as much as my sister and I make fun of each other and can be pretty bratty, she has so many positive traits. I think the biggest one has always been her ability to take care of you. When we were younger it meant being a nag or always needing to fix boyfriends, but as we have gotten older it has become much more appreciated. When I was pregnant she was so helpful. If I ever had questions or concerns she was there. If I was too tired to cook she always fed me. She is an amazing beautiful person and I am sure you will have tons of great traits to write/photograph about. Let me know if you need anything else!” - madeline
“Rachel is one of the strongest, most intelligent women I know. She is passionate about whatever it is she is doing and applies herself deeply into her interests; whether it was makeup artistry, anthropology, or currently – writing, the labor movement, and women’s studies. I am always excited to see her eyes light up when she gets excited about what she is doing and learning. She has an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and seeks out truths and facts in everything she does.
She is incredibly strong and doesn’t take shit from anyone. She speaks up when others are treated unjustly and is never afraid to be honest with someone, even if that honesty isn’t what that person wants to hear.
Rachel has become more beautiful as time has gone on. I don’t care what she says about her own body image. I watched her give birth to our daughter and son and NOTHING is more beautiful than that. She is the mother of our children and she is sexier than ever.” – joe
“There are so many amazing things I can say about Rachel…..
I will never ever forget the first time I ever spoke to Rachel; I was working in the hosiery department at Nordstrom, selling socks and pantyhose. We were going up the escalator at the same exact time and we had said hi to each other. I asked her if she was the MAC manager, she said yes, and I told her that it was basically my dream to work at MAC, kinda like a psycho…. she told me that she was hiring and to bring over my resume to her and the department manager. Rachel hired me, and I thought it was my dream job…. except for one thing… I thought my manager (Rachel) hated me…. Now that I know her, her telling me that I looked like I worked for Bobbi Brown and that I should cut off my hair was actually her wanting to make me step out of my comfort zone…. She then started promoting me, and pushing me to always work hard. Although work Rachel is very different from friend Rachel, I love them both the same because I have learned so much from both… At work Rachel always worked hard, and she was always fair…. I have worked with many different managers and Rachel will always be the one that has made the biggest impact in my life. When Rachel went on maternity leave to have Henry, I was made the interim assistant and when she got back, the position at another store opened up and she immediately pushed me to go for it… she coached me through the whole interview process and was always positive. When I left, I told her that I wished I could just work under her forever. While managing I got to develop a friendship with her… and when I became pregnant…. I got terrified… and I knew I had to leave my management position and work for Rachel again… I knew that no one else would understand how hard it is to work and be pregnant…. and sure enough no questions asked, when I called her and asked her to take me back, she did…. When I was interviewing for another job, one of the questions was, name a manager whose qualities you admire, and I of course named Rachel… and still to this day, when people ask me how to do something, I start off with well Rachel taught me this way so this is the right way.
Friend Rachel is just as amazing…. she has so many qualities that I admire… As I was pregnant and event after I had my son, I’m still finding myself think of what would Rachel do… other than my mom, she is the best mom I know…. she always puts her family first… and never does anything that would make anyone think otherwise… August and Henry are so lucky to have such a strong woman as their mommy…
The most admirable quality that Rachel has is her ability to always stand up for what is right… When working for her, Rachel always had our teams back… no matter what she always stuck up for us even if she got the blame…. As a friend, Rachel will always tell me like it is and never sugarcoat anything…. She also stands up for what she believes in and is open to everyone no matter what their thoughts or beliefs are…..
Rachel is truly an inspiration to all women…. her ability to manage a household… have a happy marriage… take care of two children…go to school full time… and still work…. is mind blowing… and I can never thank her enough for believing in me and always giving me inspirational words in my time of need and I know only great things are yet to come with her and her family because she deserves everything great in life.” – vena
“The insecurity that reigns supreme for me is basically that no one will like me. I know that this is somewhat a broad and vague, but I have been told by many people throughout my life that I have a tendency to be “brash” or “harsh” when speaking with people. It comes from a strong desire to be completely honest and not sugarcoat my opinions or advice. In the process of this honesty people get their feelings hurt. So, yah…I’m pretty much always paranoid after meeting someone new that they are immediately going to walk over to their friend and tell them what a bitch I am.”
rhi’s friends and family:
“Words about Rhi ~
A Heart Awakened by Compassion we all experience by being in her presence, even if just for a moment of time.
An illuminous creative Spirit that knows no bounds and inspires all to call forth their creative power.
She has a kindness towards all living creatures and plants that brings awareness to the beauty surrounding us.
She emits from every pore a calm determination for success as an example to move forward with fluidity.
She is a Goddess – sexy, brilliant, and desired for her beauty.” – winter
“Rhiannon is one of the only people in this world I consider to be a lifelong friend. I would do anything for her. She’s always honest and always real. She doesn’t lie to spare my feelings, which I value much more than complacency. I would kill or die for her.” – ian
“I wanted to take some time to think about why Rhiannon has had a special place in my life for the past 12 years or so. I’ve realized that there are numerous amazing qualities that add up to make the wonderful person that some of us are lucky enough to know. I am just going to list a bunch of them in no particular order.
-Rhi has a talent of finding beauty in the world that others will never see. Whether it’s in a person, a place, or even in an absurd situation.
-She has a strong sense-of-self that I sometimes envy. No matter what life throws her way, she always endures and keeps her sanity.
-I’ve never felt judged by Rhi. I can always talk to Rhi about anything without worrying about losing a friend over my opinions or decisions. She doesn’t always agree, but she accepts people for who they are.
-Rhiannon has a wonderful imagination. Some of my favorite conversations with her have been full of speculation and interpretation.
-She isn’t afraid of her feelings. If she’s feeling something, she embraces it and runs with it. It could be happiness, anger, sadness or whatever strikes her at the time.
-Rhi is one of the most attractive women I’ve ever known. Tall and voluptuous. Long, full hair. Pretty eyes, with a hint of mischief. Full of grace and beauty.
-She is a very nurturing person with a strong sense of empathy. She loves animals quite a bit. She does her best to care for the people in her life. She’s always there if you need to pour your heart out.
-Rhiannon is a fun buddy to hang out with. You can talk about video games, movies, TV, music, books or whatever comes up. She’s down to get out of the house or chill on the couch.
-Rhi is an excellent cook. She has a way taking the traditional and making it taste fresh and exciting. I never feel guilty after eating her cooking because I know it’s much healthier than anything I cook.
-I think Rhi’s best quality is her free spirit and love of life. She’s open to what the world has to offer and she isn’t afraid to go after it.
I hope this is what you were looking for, Alana. I think of Rhi as one of my dearest friends and am a better person for knowing her.” – joe
“I love Rhi for her awesome silliness. She’s always making me giggle even if she’s talking about something that is bugging her. She radiates positive energy -my favorite trait in a person! She’s also very open and honest. I can’t ever have a quick chat with her; we always end up talking for hours. Her talent is inspiring to me. She’s hands-down one of the most creative and artistic people I know. But she is her biggest critic; she doesn’t see how talented she is a lot of the time. Thankfully she has people like us around to tell her, “HOLY SHIT, THAT’S AMAZING!!,” when she’s unsatisfied with a project.” – mallery
“Rhi is a force. She is strong and sensitive all at once. I have seen the intimidation on women’s faces when they meet her (I felt it when I met her, as well), only because she just has a very powerful vibe about her. When she listens to you, her eyes seem to pierce your actual soul, and it’s not because she hates you, but because she is REALLY LISTENING to you. ☺ She has a thirst for understanding – whether it be understanding people, concepts, how things work, whatever else – and it’s fun to watch her face light up when she understands and gets excited.
She has an infectious laugh, which always makes me want to make her laugh even more.
She is honest. She’s one of the few women that I know will give me a straight answer, whether I’m asking about photography ideas, friendships, music, whatever-the-case, I know she’ll tell it to me straight.
Rhi is INCREDIBLY talented. Like, amazingly so. She also compelled me to get my ass back out there to shoot again. I can’t thank her enough for that. She thinks very much outside the box and blows me away with her creativity. It’s also been super amazing to have another female photographer to bounce ideas off of, collaborate with, and recommend to others who doesn’t feel threatened by our professional relationship, but, instead, there is a mutual growth that happens. It also has brought us very close as friends, which is a blessing I couldn’t appreciate more.
One of the other things I love about Rhi – she embraces the positive. She always, ALWAYS has something positive to say, no matter the conversation. And we’ve definitely had conversations in which you would think there was nothing positive to find, but she’ll find it. That makes me smile…and makes me check myself to stay positive, no matter what.
She is very in touch with herself. Very open to new ideas. Very accepting of others. Despite her immense talent and creativity, she is incredibly humble – maybe to a fault. She needs to recognize how amazing she is.
She’s totally nerdy, in the best, most relatable way.
She is compassionate and incredibly generous.
Rhi is gorgeous. More than gorgeous. She has been referred to as a goddess, and I think that is accurate. She is magnetic.
I’m incredibly thankful to have become closer with this woman.” – alana
alana (otherwise known as me) ~
“I used to hate my ass. HATE. IT. I’ve always had the bubble butt – the one that made me look like I should have been born a black girl. The one that people would “say” they wished they had, but I was sure they were always just making fun of me. They could NOT be serious. This was before J-Lo. Before Beyonce. Before that Kardashian girl. Before anyone actually believed that guys were really into any curves besides boobs. (Sure, Sir Mix-A-Lot had made his statement, but, c’mon now…)
That obsession kept up all of my influential years, from junior high on…progressed into adding an obsession with any weight gain to my thighs, as well. And then, JOY OF JOYS!, 20 months ago, I had a C-section and was given the curse of an even worse focus to just pile on top – my belly.
The damn belly – where once I hadn’t seen weight stick, I now get to obsess every minute over how the pounds seem to pile on right at that scar. EVERY MINUTE. That is no lie. Every minute, I am self-conscious about my weight.
Despite that this has always made me feel like I’m spending an obsession on something incredibly shallow…despite how I try to remind myself that I’m supposed to just tell myself I’m beautiful no-matter-what…the absolute WORST part about this being my main insecurity is that it goes against everything, and I mean EVERYTHING that I try to instill in my daughter. Everything that I tell her about how our society is completely screwed up at putting such a focus on appearance. How “thin” doesn’t factor into “beautiful”. And I mean all of those things. I just didn’t have an influential female figure telling me the same things. But, that is a story for another day. For now, I would love to change the cycle.
and lose this belly…
and feel truly beautiful, all factors considered.”
alana’s friends and family:
“Well….I love her because she’s Alana, and there’s no better daughter that could have happened throughout eternity for a father.
Sent from Breenholme, North Alaska by dog sled.” – dave
“her ability to laugh when dumb things happen. her smile.” – ravyn
“just some of alana’s many positive traits! please lemme know if you need me to clarify / elaborate
-loving, responsible mother
-great listener, kind & attentive friend
-honest, trustworthy and open
-wonderful sense of humor
-extremely creative, talented and motivated
-a smile that warms the heart
-great at improvising plans, seeking & having fun
i could go on and on, i feel like these are some of the major ones
i hope this helps
t” – toby
“The most immediate and wonderful thing anyone notices about Alana is her laugh. Her laugh is big, its loud, it’s enchanting, it’s undeniable. After her laugh you see her humour; by which I mean, she’s actually laughing at funny shit (albeit sometimes dumb funny shit, funny shit all the same). Then you see how beautiful she is, her face, her eyes, that big ass smile…These are the things that EVERYONE notices about Alana. Then you find out she is talented, creative, and bad ass with a camera…These too are things that EVERYONE notices about Alana. These are undeniably super awesome qualities. (Seriously, that’s a lot of really rad attributes in one tiny package it’s almost unfair.) However, those are not the truly impressive qualities that made me love her so very much. My dear friend, Alana, is one of the most empathetic, compassionate, loving, patient, and kind, mothers I have ever had the joy of knowing. Not only in regards to her own children, the whole lot of them. Alana is a brave champion of every kids delicate beings. Her intolerance of shitty, thoughtless, and cruel parenting, brings me great pleasure on a regular basis. I have have so much respect for her ability to give the truest love so completely selflessly…it’s pretty amazing. I’m so happy to know her, I’m happy my kids know her and above all I am happy Ravyn and Grey get to call her Mom.” – jamey
“The first time I ever saw Alana playing with Grey is when I knew I loved her. The faces and games she shared with her son were completely devoid of authority or patronization. In that moment, she was with him an equal. They were on the same level, playing the same game, and both deriving the same amount of joy. As her and I became closer, it didn’t take long to realize that this is her true nature with everyone she loves, and even some strangers too. Not once during our friendship have I ever felt she was secretly conspiring, or judging me out of some deep conspiratorial competitiveness she hid from the world. No, Alana is absolutely genuine. She will stand up and defend her family and friends for the sake of what’s right and hold her own down to the gritty finish. I am constantly surprised and inspired by her creativity and talents as well as her compassion and desire to make the world a better place to be. She brought us all together here today to carve out a new path for women that would be deprived of judgment, censure, or competition. This act, to which she gave her time, talents, and efforts is one of the most beautiful and compassionate events I have ever witnessed and I count myself as one of the lucky few who gets to participate and enjoy the life and adventures of the beautiful, talented, gifted, and compassionate Alana Tamminga.” – rhi
“Personally the list for me about alana goes on and on. She is beyond selfless in her friendship, taking me into her home time and time again. I truly feel blessed to have her vibrant energy in my life. She has a gift of making you feel both special and awesome in her attention to you. I know one of her major insecurities is a body hang up, but that’s probably because she has so much of her life already on lock down. That lady goes above and beyond, as a cheerleader, a support system, someone to make you laugh and just someone to chill and relax with. I know I can trust her to give me straight advice and remind me of my priorities as well, I am so damn grateful that she is in my life.” – eden
“I’ve actually started this a few times. I am going to simplify things. What I really like most about Alana is that she’s genuine and she expects me to be my genuine self. So what does that mean to me? She’s honest, she has my best interest at heart and she is a true friend. I don’t have to see or talk to her all the time but I know I can always count and confide in her. Alana would definitely makes things better just by being her. I love Alana for all these reasons and so much more.” – melissa
“Words of Love for Alana
‘I want to know her.’ That’s what I thought to myself the first time I was introduced to Alana Tamminga. I was working at a Philosophy freelance event for Nordstrom at the Downtown Seattle location for the very first time. Intimidated and nervous don’t even begin to describe how I was feeling when I stepped onto the floor that day. I looked over at the other girls bangin’ out some fresh, fierce faces and I smiled when I heard Alana’s infectious laugh. She doesn’t laugh like most folks. It’s a throw-your-head-back-and-laugh-like-you’ve-never-heard-anything-so-funny-in-your-life kind of an experience.
Once you’ve both stopped laughing, because it is impossible not to join this girl in said giggle-nonsense, you’ll be drawn in by Alana’s beauty. She’s not your girl next door. She’s definitely not the kind that wears mom jeans, though she’s just about the coolest mom I know. Alana is a beauty that is not just skin deep; hers is a beauty that spills out from her soul. My dear friend Alana clearly is a most attractive woman – I mean she can rock just about any style, color and length hair known, her skin is practically flawless, and goodness she is blessed with a whole lot of gorgeous, bouncy booty – but what is truly fantastic about her is her ability to be herself. I not only admire that quality but strive to emulate the same within myself. Alana is kind, genuine, generous, thoughtful, loyal, confident, forgiving, hilarious, talented, artistic, nurturing, fun – my friend.
I am so glad, years later, I can now say ‘I know that girl – she’s one of my truest, dearest friends.’” – mara
“Anyone who has met Alana will tell you that she’s a blast, funny, gorgeous, sexy, and smart. Those are the easy ones and you see them the minute she opens her mouth. I’ll go a bit further and describe what I see and what she means to me.
She has the rare ability to be a sincere friend to lots of different people at the same time. She somehow makes you feel like YOU are special and funny even though it’s her that brings that out in you. She instantly makes most people feel comfortable and at ease upon introduction. I don’t think she’s ever met a stranger, everyone is her friend until proven otherwise (which is rare). All of these things are what make her a great photographer and able to capture the real personalities of her subjects.
Alana is open with her feelings. If she’s happy, mad, excited, she shows it. She puts herself all the way out there even though she’s been hurt before. As someone who loves her, I’ve wished that she protected her heart a little more because I didn’t want to see her hurt again. That’s not her though, she’ll put it all on the line and she figures that if it doesn’t work out, at least she tried. Since I’m the exact opposite in this department, I admire her ability to do this.
She’s the only person with whom I can truly be myself. She’s the only one that I can tell my true thoughts and feelings without being afraid of being judged or loved less. She’s a great listener but will offer fantastic advice if asked. I can trust her 100% and I don’t trust anyone, so that’s saying A LOT. I know that if I needed her right now, she would drop everything and help me in whatever way I needed and I would do the same for her. How many people in our lives can we say that about? I say all of this knowing that there are tons of people out there who feel the exact same way about Alana. She cultivates loyalty by being herself.
She’s real. She’s loving and giving. She’s courageous. She’s one of the smartest people I’ve ever met and is never condescending or arrogant or conceited. While she has some insecurities like we all do, she has tremendous self-confidence in a lot of areas.
We can all see that she’s gorgeous and sexy, but she doesn’t know it…which makes her even more so.” – peni
“Years from now, I’m going to look back at my life and anything that I’ve done, that I’m happy or proud of, will be because of Alana. A baby boy, a daughter… She’s an amazing mom, my best friend, the best companion I could ask for. Beautiful, compassionate, hilarious, dumb (in a good way, like me, she’ll understand), she gets me out of my comfort zone and helps me enjoy things I may have thought I didn’t. I got more than I bargained for but I wouldn’t change anything.” – dylan
“Although I’ll be joining you ladies in spirit, my insecurity is: always feeling like I’m failing as a parent, and not getting over bad decisions I’ve made as a parent.”
jen’s friends and family:
“Jen was actually one of my very first friends when I moved to Oregon! She is such an accepting person and would do absolutely anything for her friends! She’s a very dedicated and loving mother – she loves unconditionally! You can also tell her that I think she’s absolutely gorgeous!! She’s willing to go the extra mile for her friendship and give it all she has. She’s a free spirit and strong-willed! She’s also a great cook!! I’m sure I can go on and on about her forever but she should know she is truly cherished as a friend. And you can tell her she’s the L to my C… she will get it, hahaha!!” – maggie
“1) She’s an amazing mother. She has such patience. So much so that she has no idea how patient she is. She has a calming tolerance for dealing with her children even when they are driving her nuts. Her patience is something to be commended…especially since I have a toddler the same age as her, and I wish I had her patience.
2) She has a beauty about her that is just natural. She doesn’t believe that it is there and almost seems shocked when someone compliments her on her appearance. She has an effortless beauty that shines even when she hasn’t done anything. She can throw her hair up in a clip…claim it’s a rats’ nest, yet she carries herself and appears as though she spent an hour forming it in that particular “up-do”.
3) She has a childlike, playful side. She laughs and finds humor in silly things. An innocence that shows her youth when she giggles, yet, being a mother of two and an amazing homemaker girlfriend/wife to Justin makes her appear so much older than she is. She has wisdom well beyond her years, and I believe that is from taking such good care of herself and her family starting at such a young age.
4) She is beautiful. She tends to think she needs to exercise, or diet or lose weight…. but she is absolutely beautiful. I think her insides exude just as much beauty as her outside does.
When I first met her, we clicked so fast. She said I looked like her family member or something. We decided that we were Italian sisters from another life, lol, our mutual love of the movie Goodfellas was a kismet thing for us and we understood each other instantly. Like we were always on the same wavelength. Our boys were born two days apart in the same hospital. She came into my hospital room while in labor just waiting out her contractions while I sat there …she was so strong and tough…she carried on a conversation with me during contractions. It amazed me – her strength – in so many ways.” – stephanie
“Jen is one of the strongest women I know. She has been through so much in her 25 years. She is one of the best moms I know, too. I look up to her, straight up. She is such a positive influence on me. It’s friends like Jen that make me grateful for social networking, not only because I would never have reconnected with her if it weren’t for Facebook, but also because she’s moving away from me again soon and I’m sure that ’cause of Facebook and such, we will keep in contact forever, and I will be able to ask for her advice anytime. Jen also has a good sense of style. And is never afraid to try new things. I admire that. So many people out there fear change. Jen welcomes change.” – mallery
“Even though I’ve only known Jen for less than a year, she has become one of my favorite people for many reasons. The more obvious reasons: she’s hilarious, a fantastic mother, and she makes awesome food. But anyone could see these things in a first meeting. When you get to know you her, you come to learn how thoughtful and caring she is. Jen is just a super genuine person and, I’ve already said it once, but, she’s one of the funniest people I know.” – alicia
“She is a woman I highly admire. She is beautiful, both inside and out. She is an amazing mommy first and foremost. I love to watch her interact with Bay and Ryker. She is playful, loving, and understanding, yet they know she means business. She has a way of teaching independence and responsibility to her children that I find amazing. She takes great care of my cousin Justin and their home. She’s an awesome cook and so crafty. She’s a great listener and easy to talk to. She’s funny. She is an amazing woman!” – mandy
“I’ve had a hard time nailing down an insecurity because I have so many. I really started paying attention to that nasty voice in my head to see what she was talking about to get an idea of what my biggest one might be. I talk to myself worse than I would ever talk to my worst enemy let alone someone I loved or liked even a little. Whether it’s telling myself how hideous I am when I look in the mirror or telling myself that I’m not pretty enough for my fiancé and that he should be with someone else or that I’m stupid or clumsy or lazy, or, or. What really made me hone in on the underlying problem though was the recent birth of my son. It was a relatively easy and quick labor and delivery. Only 14 minutes of pushing and 4 pushes to get out a 8 lb. 2 oz. little guy who had one arm up by his face. The midwives even thanked me for a beautiful experience and for reminding them of why they do what they do. I couldn’t accept any of the praise though, all I could think was “but I tore and needed stitches…it wasn’t PERFECT…I wasn’t PERFECT.” I was really angry with myself and kept thinking about what I could and should have done differently to prepare in the months before and/or while in labor.
I realized that this is my insecurity…not being perfect. I’m not the most beautiful person I know so therefore I’m hideous and not deserving of my fiancé’s adoration. I can’t be proud of my natural home delivery of my perfect son because I screwed up somehow and was injured. I know how stupid this sounds but there it is.”
peni’s friends and family:
“For Peni… She is an unwavering truth seeker… Generous with her laughter… A Happiness warrior!” – alison
“Peni sparkles. Her eyes smile and laugh right above her strong and gentle cheekbones. Even her thick and shiny hair has kind of a happy bounce to it. I love her laugh and even though it’s been years since I’ve seen her, I can hear her laugh. I don’t think the girl works out much (unless something has changed), yet she has a great figure and really good arms. If I ever needed to find humor or a positive slant to something not so fun in my life, I would go to Peni. Her ability to flip to the positive is instantaneous. I don’t think she even really has to think about it. Peni is supportive and loving to her friends, boosting them any way she can to succeed.
I’m so excited that Peni is a mom now, as I’ve always believe she’s a kindred spirit with the little ones, having so much patience, and is just damn fun for a kid. Milo is one lucky dude…as is Danny. My husband used to joke with Danny “She’s out of your league.” I admire this woman and am grateful she is here as the planet needs her!” – dana
“Where to start? After gorgeous, the next thing that pops in my head is so, so witty! Intelligent, funny, loyal, fearless, and just plain amazing! Easiest assignment ever! Lol” – whitney
There are so many wonderful words that come to mind when I think of Peni, here are a few: Organized, Healthy, Fun, and Extremely likeable!” – ruth
“Ms. Peni Rae: 1. Compassionate. She is the most compassionate person I’ve ever met. She knows how to put herself in others’ shoes and be incredibly understanding. 2. Funny! Peni has the wittiest sense of humor and uses it well. 3. Gorgeous! I never saw such beautiful skin and shining eyes as with Peni. 4. Great listener. Peni knows how to listen when a friend needs an ear. She gives great advice but also knows when it’s just about listening. 5. Passionate. Peni is very passionate about so many things. The health and well being of everyone, for one, but also now motherhood. 6. Caring. Peni cares not only about the people she loves in her life but also about strangers on the street and about the earth and the environment and its future. 7. Supportive. Peni goes above and beyond to support those she loves in whatever crazy dreams they might have. She believes that anything is possible for anyone. 8. Positive. Peni is the most positive person I’ve met since being on the West Coast. She always has a way of knowing and practicing that when times are tough, there is a reason for it and that she wants to get the most out of any situation and encourages those around her to do the same. 9. Diplomatic. Peni has a peace about her and knows how to handle people and sometimes their negativity in a peaceful, fair, and non dramatic way. 10. ☺ And ❤ ❤ ❤ " – stacie
“Beautiful, Thoughtful, Loving, Brave, Sweet, Intelligent, Creative, Wonderful, Loyal, Nurturing, Outgoing. I knew that I was blessed when Peni came in to my life. She is such an incredible woman and friend. Her loyal and devoted friendship is rare. Her unconditional love for her friends that have become her family is admirable. She is a person with wonderful insight on life because she is a person who thinks things through. I am blessed to have her in my life and anyone else who has come to know her truly knows they have met an angel here on earth.” – bianca
“I have a sister. I didn’t even know she existed until about 7ish years ago. Nope, she doesn’t share the same DNA as me…but, man oh man, do we share the same blood. She is my confidant, my rock, my teacher, my therapist, my dork, my best, best, bestest friend in the universe.
When I first met Peni, it was at work – we were told that this AMAZING chick had just moved from California to Washington and was going to join our freelance team…our trainer went on and on about how awesome Peni was, so, immediately, because we were a bunch of insecure women, we knew we were going to hate her.
Well, damn him if he wasn’t totally right. You couldn’t hate Peni…not even if she really was better than us (she was). Peni is freakin lovable. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever known anyone who doesn’t love her. She is smarter than all of us, but she keeps her opinion and knowledge to herself unless you ask for it. She is humble as all get out.
People who don’t know her very well would think that she’s just a cute, quiet little thing…but, Peni is HILARIOUS, and talkative, and full of quips that could just shut you down if she wanted to. She is so damn witty. I don’t know if anyone in my life has ever made me laugh as hard as she has. And, I dunno if you know me, but I laugh A LOT. And at a lot of dumb shit. But this girl is the funniest.
Peni is my go-to for advice. She’ll tell it to me straight. Or she’ll somehow use her jedi mind-tricks and, without hurting my feelings by telling me that whatever I’m thinking is a REAL DUMB idea, she’ll cause me to think of something better. I don’t know how she does it, really. I’m constantly blown away.
Peni is STRONG. She can hold herself together in the most trying situations. I can probably count on my hand the number of times I’ve seen her cry, and they’ve been for damn good reasons.
She is PATIENT. Man is she patient. Which is really coming in handy now, because, not only is she the raddest new mom ever, but she’s a super patient rad new mom. What kid doesn’t want that??
Peni deserves every beautiful thing that can ever happen to a person. She makes us better people just by knowing her. The beauty that Peni is shines strong through her fiance’s eyes. You can see who Peni is by how much he adores her. She deserves nothing less than to be adored like that.
Peni is GORGEOUS. She is the queen of nutrition, so, she has the best, strongest, healthiest, cutest little body. She has the most beautiful skin…always glowing. She has the BEST smile and makes you smile with her when you see it.
Peni is no-bullshit. That is something that I have proven most thankful for, as she sets an example in not wasting time on toxic people. She focuses on the positive. She has no need for negative. And she exudes the positive for all of us. Remember, we’re better people because of her…
Peni is also the most trustworthy, nonjudgmental person I have ever known.
I would do anything for Peni. ANY. THING. She is the pants to my boots. I love her so much.” – alana
Group 1, Part 1: https://alanatphotography.wordpress.com/2013/02/11/women-raw-honest-loved-part-1-2/
Group 2, TEENS!: https://alanatphotography.wordpress.com/2013/04/13/teen-version-women-raw-honest-loved/
Group 3, 55+: https://alanatphotography.wordpress.com/2013/06/27/55-version-women-raw-honest-loved/
Group 4: https://alanatphotography.wordpress.com/2013/07/30/group-4-women-raw-honest-loved/
Group 5: https://alanatphotography.wordpress.com/2013/11/12/group-5-women-raw-honest-loved/
Aaaand I’m crying again. :”D
Ok, so, I feel insanely lucky to have been apart of this because I truly believe in the message. It’s time to stop being judgmental, jealous, and territorial. We all have insecurities. Instead of bringing each other down, we need to build each other up. Stop seeing other women as competition. We are who we are. And we’re all so beautiful.
The night of the shoot, I remember feeling anxious on the car ride over. The butterflies flying around in my stomach got stronger and stronger as I parked my car (crooked, I should add) and got out to walk inside. Those stupid little butterflies didn’t leave my belly until I had a drink in my hand, and my ass planted on a seat. I didn’t know what to expect. I knew it was going to be a night full of women (women I did not know) talking about their insecurities (plus, a photo shoot), but it ended up being so much more than that…
I didn’t think I would cry, but, damn. I was crying 37.2 seconds into the very first insecurity. I related in so many ways. I had no idea that other people felt that way, too. I felt her pain. We all felt each other’s pain that night. It was extraordinary. I can’t think of one insecurity I heard that night that I did not relate to. Every single one hit me, in one way or another.
Now that the project is over and everything’s out there (including the nice words written by our dearest friends & family), I see how almost silly we all are for having these insecurities. Obviously, they’ll never completely disappear, but it’s so comforting knowing we’re not alone. And we are loved. And awesome!
Alana, YOU ROCK!!! Thank you for being SO awesome & welcoming, and for including me in this project. ❤ ❤ ❤
mallery, I adore you. and I just laughed pretty hard at the crooked car part. 🙂
I agree with everything you said. I was worried about how it all would go. well, I got what my vision was plus sooooooooo SO much more.
I love that you guys took a deep breath and dove in with me. it means the world. my faith in women has been restored. seriously. ❤
I don’t know why it’s saying I’m anonymous. dumb phone. THIS IS MY BLOG, PHONE.
Love this! Very empowering, raw, real, playful, funny, transparent, authentic, comforting. Thank you.
Alana, thank you for making this happen and for pushing me out of my comfort zone. for probably 25 years, I have felt the insecurity I shared for the first time that night. After saying out loud, receiving the love and support of the strangers (now friends) in the room, and hearing the amazing words from my family and friends, I realized this ridiculous thing that had a hold on me for so many years was just that-ridiculous.
I do deserve the love I receive and because of this project, I am going to work hard on internalizing and living that.
Thank you for your time and effort on this, and I hope this blog can help others realize that everyone has a back story and we should treat the way we want to be treated.
❤ love you so much. thank you so much for doing this!
thank you so much! I really appreciate your super kind words. 🙂