beginnings, thank yous, and overwhelming heart tugs.

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We just had our reunion of the nine groups that have happened so far and it got me thinking about beginnings. 

This project started about a year and a half ago, in February of 2013, as merely a “thought”, more or less.
As an idea.
As a little shift from the “normal,” just to see what could come of it.
It started because, simply, I feel that communication is powerful. Conversation can breed change.
It continues because that communication has become more powerful than I ever thought possible.

As I’ve said many times over, it started because I was more and more disgusted by the gossip, slander, trash-talking that is common among women. The ONE goal I had was that the eighteen of us in that first group would walk away with a little more understanding and a little more empathy – that we would check ourselves before we think something disparaging about another person, definitely before we voice such a thing to someone else. That we would take the time to realize that, more often than not, there is SOMEthing we have in common with them – that if we took five minutes to really listen to them…to listen about things that matter…our quick-to-judge opinion would change.

The project has continued because that has definitely happened. But, that’s not all that has happened. I receive letters over and over from participants who have gained more self-respect, more self-love. Who, besides being slower to judge others, are also now slower to judge themselves. They are equipped to recall the positive traits about themselves that their loved ones believe to be their overwhelming qualities. They’re not just equipped to do it – they actually DO it.

The project continues because I also receive letters and feedback from those who haven’t even been directly involved yet – those who take comfort in the words of participants that are friends and strangers alike, finding that they’re not alone in their feelings, in their insecurities. That we’re all more and more alike than we sometimes imagine.

One of the things that has impressed me the most about this project is that every. single. time. I orchestrate/facilitate another group or ANYthing related to the project – no matter how nervous I may get – everything flows so effortlessly and easily. It tells me every time that this is what I am supposed to be doing. Things just flow and work with this because it is based in positivity. Because it is solely for building up, supporting, and loving one another.

Even when it came down to organizing a party that would consist of about 130 people – I’ve NEVER thrown a party in which I would need 130 people entertained and happy! But, as I said, because it was for the project, it just came together beautifully and perfectly.

I cannot thank enough those involved with that night.
It’s impossible.
But I’m going to try.

For those of you that didn’t get to attend, however, I will give you an idea of how the night went down, in list form.  

– 80 photos and insecurities – (every single participant) were hung on the wall
– amaaaaazing finger foods
– ridiculously delicious beer and wine
– a photo booth (SO FUN!)
– a spot for the little kids to entertain themselves
– a video that made everyone weepy
– a raffle and silent auction featuring awesome goods from small businesses in the area
– music! My favorite kind of music.
– laughter, tears, and more laughter, with an overwhelming feeling of solidarity

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The night was amazing.
I’ve said many times since that I wish I could have stepped back, taken a breath, and just listened. Just looked around and taken the whole thing in.
I didn’t really get that chance, as there were so many people who stopped me that I desperately wanted to talk to. Everyone was there because they were supporting the project. That alone gave me a constant overwhelming lump in my throat. To see so many people there, whether they have been in my life for long periods of time or short, meant the world to me.
There really are no words to accurately convey how that felt. But, I would not be far off in saying that it was one of the best feelings ever. Like falling in love with 130 people at once. Whoa.

What I can possibly state just in words: the buzz was phenomenal. The party was constant and joyous. I was told multiple times that when guests entered the building, the energy was awesome and contagious. THAT means everything went as it should.
Once again, the project was a success. And it enforced my desire to continue. So, continue I will.
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This party served as a fundraiser as well – as I know that many who attended are curious, the amount raised basically allowed me to break even as far as the cost of the party itself. So, thank you all whom were there for helping me to throw an awesome party!

I will be releasing the Group 9 – Mothers/Daughters blog in the near future, as well as a Kickstarter for the project, so that this can be something that continues as long as possible. Hopefully, this will be out sooner than I currently think. 

Now, I’d like to thank some people specifically:

Rhiannon – my right hand lady – the one who has filmed almost every single group; the one who serves as the part of my brain that is often lacking; the one who tirelessly sets up and tears down all of these things with me. You are amazing. You have my undying appreciation always.

Jamey – I could not have thrown this thing without you. No joke. Your handling of the food – organizing and creating such a delicious array of selections – brought such peace of mind to my planning. Everyone would have had to eat some Little Caesars pizza if I had been handling the food. You and your family did more than I could have ever expected. And I know you had a few other awesome helpers with you – to all of you, THANK YOU. I love you guys.

Glenna – for tirelessly lending your home time and again for us to have a meeting place. I don’t know what I would have done without you. ❤ Also, a big thank you to you and Abby for more wine! 

Kt – You are just awesome. You are reliable even when you think you’re not going to be reliable. Not really sure how you do that, but you do. You have been so damn supportive of this whole thing and I appreciate all you’ve put into it. I love how our friendship has grown since the start of this. You are definitely a part of our little family now. Thank you!

Ian – THAT VIDEO. WHAT?!?! That is the most beautiful thing. I still can’t watch without crying. You are ridiculously talented and I appreciate every stressful and exhausting second you put into this for me. Thank you so very much!

Aarde, Cheryl and Alan – THAT VENUE! Seriously, you guys, THANK YOU SO MUCH! That was such a perfect place to hold this and I appreciate your kindness in providing it so very much! I don’t know what I would have done without you guys. Aarde, thank you for making it happen.

Ash – While I include you in my thank you to Jamey, you definitely need your own. You were like a machine in your assistance with food and tables and cleanup and music and and and and…so many things I know you did that probably even went unnoticed. You are a great dude. Thank you. So much.

Rosie and Jennifer – You’ve photographed various groups and shared your experiences at each of those and I couldn’t thank you enough for your support in that way. Rosie, I love the photos you’ve shared from that night. I am so thankful that you were kind enough to capture the evening for me, as I was too busy to even take it all in.

Heidi – That wine was so good! You are the biggest of champs for providing that for us. I appreciate you and Precept Wine so very much. Love you, lady.

Dylan and Austen – THAT KOLSCH! Soooooooooo good! Thank you for brewing for me and sharing the deliciousness with everyone there. I know people now can’t wait for you to get some tap room/brewery going’. Love you both. Thank you so much!

Peni – Having my best friend here for this event was just perfect in itself. The fact that you organized and helped orchestrate the raffle and silent auction to take it off my plate, that was even beyond perfect. You helped silence my crazy mind where that was concerned. Thank youuuuu!

Kristen, Ana-Elizabeth and Jen – Thank you for conquering any fears you may have had (except Kristen; you love that shit)  and speaking in front of the crowd. Your experiences still speak to me on a huge scale. You are the reason this continues. I love you guys.

Mara and Melissa – GIRLS, I would probably only have made $5 if not for you both! I cannot thank you enough for your mingling and selling and handling of money! You guys are the best. I love you long time.

All of you who donated for the auction/raffle – Melissa Huston, Peni Massure, Singe Candles, Anna Bailey, Thisisrhi, Heidi Hedge, Justin Tamminga, Dagmar Simard & Sasquatch Cinnamon Rolls, Jennifer Jones, Jamie Haskell, Becca Macdonald & Compass Rose, Mara Christensen, EarthNerd Treasures, Jake Pendle, Drollinger Designs, Kt Wright, Karla Corona & The Red Hot, Erin Stiner & Salon Parente and anyone else that my crazy brain may be forgetting…THANK YOUUUUUU GUYS SO VERY MUCH!!!!! You were essential in the raising of funds. I appreciate it sooooo much!

Jenn, Rhi, Austen, Dylan – Thank you for helping me clean up everything remaining the following day. I think I would have just sat on the floor and sobbed if I hadn’t have had your help.

To EVERYONE who donated money and contributed to raffle/auction monies, I thank you! (To Shari Kalsta and Laura Rossi who donated toward food before we even went shopping…all my love.)

If I forgot anyone, I’m so incredibly apologetic. My brain has been fried since this event and is only sort of coming back to me. You are all amazing.

TO EVERYONE: THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES FOR YOUR SUPPORT. Your support keeps this project in the forefront for me. It makes me keep going even when I think that the work is too hard – when I think of the daunting paperwork it will take to become a non-profit organization; the hours of social networking and administrative work it takes to keep this out there; the exhaustion that is super emotional and, yet, fulfilling with each group. You keep all this love and positivity as the main message for me.
You are this project.
Thank you.

Alana ❤
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rhi.

The blogs about women were long. Real long.

For the sake of none of these women’s honest, heartfelt words and loving messages from their friends and family going unseen, I’m going to be posting each in a single blog every couple of days or so (or daily on the weekend) until I am able to finally get the teen session executed and up to share. So that you can take just five minutes and read one woman’s “story” and maybe find comfort in the way you can relate/understand/empathize/etc.

They will be in no particular order…drawing numbers 1-18.
Today’s number: #15.

I give you Rhi.

rhiblog
rhi’s words ~

“The insecurity that reigns supreme for me is basically that no one will like me. I know that this is somewhat broad and vague, but I have been told by many people throughout my life that I have a tendency to be “brash” or “harsh” when speaking with people. It comes from a strong desire to be completely honest and not sugarcoat my opinions or advice. In the process of this honesty people get their feelings hurt. So, yah…I’m pretty much always paranoid after meeting someone new that they are immediately going to walk over to their friend and tell them what a bitch I am.”

rhi’s friends and family:

“Words about Rhi ~
A Heart Awakened by Compassion we all experience by being in her presence, even if just for a moment of time.
An illuminous creative Spirit that knows no bounds and inspires all to call forth their creative power.
She has a kindness towards all living creatures and plants that brings awareness to the beauty surrounding us.
She emits from every pore a calm determination for success as an example to move forward with fluidity.
She is a Goddess – sexy, brilliant, and desired for her beauty.”
 – winter

“Rhiannon is one of the only people in this world I consider to be a lifelong friend. I would do anything for her. She’s always honest and always real. She doesn’t lie to spare my feelings, which I value much more than complacency. I would kill or die for her.” – ian



“I wanted to take some time to think about why Rhiannon has had a special place in my life for the past 12 years or so. I’ve realized that there are numerous amazing qualities that add up to make the wonderful person that some of us are lucky enough to know. I am just going to list a bunch of them in no particular order.
-Rhi has a talent of finding beauty in the world that others will never see. Whether it’s in a person, a place, or even in an absurd situation.
-She has a strong sense-of-self that I sometimes envy. No matter what life throws her way, she always endures and keeps her sanity.
-I’ve never felt judged by Rhi. I can always talk to Rhi about anything without worrying about losing a friend over my opinions or decisions. She doesn’t always agree, but she accepts people for who they are.
-Rhiannon has a wonderful imagination. Some of my favorite conversations with her have been full of speculation and interpretation.
-She isn’t afraid of her feelings. If she’s feeling something, she embraces it and runs with it. It could be happiness, anger, sadness or whatever strikes her at the time.
-Rhi is one of the most attractive women I’ve ever known. Tall and voluptuous. Long, full hair. Pretty eyes, with a hint of mischief. Full of grace and beauty.
-She is a very nurturing person with a strong sense of empathy. She loves animals quite a bit. She does her best to care for the people in her life. She’s always there if you need to pour your heart out.
-Rhiannon is a fun buddy to hang out with. You can talk about video games, movies, TV, music, books or whatever comes up. She’s down to get out of the house or chill on the couch.
-Rhi is an excellent cook. She has a way taking the traditional and making it taste fresh and exciting. I never feel guilty after eating her cooking because I know it’s much healthier than anything I cook.
-I think Rhi’s best quality is her free spirit and love of life. She’s open to what the world has to offer and she isn’t afraid to go after it.
I hope this is what you were looking for, Alana. I think of Rhi as one of my dearest friends and am a better person for knowing her.” – joe

“I love Rhi for her awesome silliness. She’s always making me giggle even if she’s talking about something that is bugging her. 
She radiates positive energy -my favorite trait in a person! 
She’s also very open and honest. I can’t ever have a quick chat with her; we always end up talking for hours. 
Her talent is inspiring to me. She’s hands-down one of the most creative and artistic people I know. But she is her biggest critic; she doesn’t see how talented she is a lot of the time. Thankfully she has people like us around to tell her, “HOLY SHIT, THAT’S AMAZING!!,” when she’s unsatisfied with a project.”

 – mallery

“Rhi is a force. She is strong and sensitive all at once. I have seen the intimidation on women’s faces when they meet her (I felt it when I met her, as well) only because she just has a very powerful vibe about her. When she listens to you, her eyes seem to pierce your actual soul, and it’s not because she hates you, but because she is REALLY LISTENING to you. ☺ She has a thirst for understanding – whether it be understanding people, concepts, how things work, whatever else – and it’s fun to watch her face light up when she understands and gets excited.
She has an infectious laugh, which always makes me want to make her laugh even more.
She is honest. She’s one of the few women that I know will give me a straight answer, whether I’m asking about photography ideas, friendships, music, whatever-the-case, I know she’ll tell it to me straight.
Rhi is INCREDIBLY talented. Like, amazingly so. She also compelled me to get my ass back out there to shoot again. I can’t thank her enough for that. She thinks very much outside the box and blows me away with her creativity. It’s also been super amazing to have another female photographer to bounce ideas off of, collaborate with, and recommend to others who doesn’t feel threatened by our professional relationship, but, instead, there is a mutual growth that happens. It also has brought us very close as friends, which is a blessing I couldn’t appreciate more.
One of the other things I love about Rhi – she embraces the positive. She always, ALWAYS has something positive to say, no matter the conversation. And we’ve definitely had conversations in which you would think there was nothing positive to find, but she’ll find it. That makes me smile…and makes me check myself to stay positive, no matter what.
She is very in touch with herself. Very open to new ideas. Very accepting of others. Despite her immense talent and creativity, she is incredibly humble – maybe to a fault. She needs to recognize how amazing she is.
She’s totally nerdy, in the best, most relatable way.
She is compassionate and incredibly generous.
Rhi is gorgeous. More than gorgeous. She has been referred to as a goddess, and I think that is accurate. She is magnetic.
I’m incredibly thankful to have become closer with this woman.” – alana

the original blogs (with backstory) can be found here:
https://alanatphotography.wordpress.com/2013/02/11/women-raw-honest-loved-part-1-2/
https://alanatphotography.wordpress.com/2013/02/12/women-raw-honest-loved-part-2/